I often get the feeling that we have lost perspective on a lot of things in life, and as the title might hint, relationships is definitely one of those areas. Its like we don't know how or what to do when we get there, so we look to the media to give us a helping hand.
When I was about 13, we never had cellphones and Facebook, BBM and Whatsapp to our disposal. We had to get creative with how we communicated. I still remember sitting in a class and passing letters to the girls I like, hoping the teacher wouldn't intercept the precious cargo and ruin my life in front of the whole classroom. It was like going to war and getting caught behind the enemy line! You also had to be very careful who you entrusted the letter to, otherwise it might be opened by the opposition or never reach the intended recipient.
The point is, we took our time. We thought about how we were going to make this person of interest notice us, and then cultivate that into something more. We couldn't just go on-line and confess our feelings. It took more than one message or an emoticon to get to the point of it being something more than just someone you knew.
Nowadays its all about who you know and what you're carrying around in your pocket. For example: There is this girl that I met a while back who I though was a really good looking and intelligent person. She had a good sense of humour and I felt really comfortable talking to her. When the night came to an end, we exchanged numbers and I mentioned that I would like to see her again. It being the 21st century, all I had to do was send her an sms or invite her on Facebook and that was it! No need for flowers or chocolates, asking her best friend if she even talks about me, wondering if I'm actually going to ever see her again. It was as simple as that! Imagine for a second what she would have thought if I had taken her flowers or a teddy instead of a poke on Facebook.
Contrary to popular belief, and most people who know me, I have also been in a serious and long-term relationship, one that unfortunately came to quite an abrupt end. It being me, I often wonder what I would have changed if I got a chance to do it all over again. My answer...less sms and more talk! If I had actually spent more time talking to her and having a personal conversation instead of 160 character summaries of how my day went, it would have been completely different. I would have been able to see when she felt hurt by what I had said, or when she was just trying to be sarcastic instead of mean. There would have been colour to our conversations, not just little black letters on a screen. Emotions, feelings and even body language!
People often argue that its easier to talk about our problems when we don't have to face the person we're talking to. I would be lying if I said that I agree. What really gets to me is that we don't always bargain on the reply, and because of technology, its usually fairly instant. There is no period between getting the news and responding to it. No time delay to consider all the variables.
You might hope for a certain yes or no, but because you can't see the other person, you wouldn't know that it might not be the correct time to ask that specific question. So when the reply does come, and it wasn't the one you were hoping for, you start to think that you might be the issue, or that the interest you thought she showed was mistaken for her just being decent enough to talk to you.
In order for anyone to have a decent relationship, I honestly believe they need to rethink how they go about it all. But then again, maybe its just me...
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