Honesty

For once in my life I would love for things to be a simple yes or no...

I know it sounds outrageous and probably even senseless, but how often do we find ourselves in situations where a simple yes or no could have made it so much easier? Instead we give sarcastic remarks, twisted truths and halfhearted answers just to not launch a full inquiry into the what, where, why and how of a situation. We would rather avoid to be truthful and honest, because that way we don't have to face up to responibility or consequence.

I'm not saying I want life to curl up or roll over, I get that, sometimes situations take time, need to give us a "maybe" or "hold on", but has it really become so difficult for us to just answer? No matter how dull or obvious the answer might be? So often I find myself in an argument with someone where, if I had just given a simple answer, could have turned out to be a much more pleasant coversation. And this goes both ways...

Often we ask the most obvious questions, not beacuse we don't know the answer or we don't understand the situation, but for reassurance. Its part of our nature to double check everything, prepare for every outcome, concern ourselves with matters beyond our control. Its usually at times like these where I pop my top, lose my cool, blow a gasket...get really annoyed! I'm not in any way implying that I'm the next Einstein, nor am I saying I have all the answers in the universe, but if I ask a simple question for reassurance, can't you just be nice and oblidge me with a straightforward answer?

Sure sarcasm has a place in our every day lives, but have you noticed how often you seem to fall back on it?

Do yourself a favour and try go without sarcasm for just one day. If you get asked a question, answer truthfully and keep it simple, I would love to know what the outcome is.

Wants & Needs

We want more, but we're thankful for less. That is something even I have to remind myself of on a weekly basis....

Once in while I tend to get these moments where nothing in my room feels like it belongs there, so I go on a spring cleaning session to tidy up the mess and find some sort of order. Its at times like these where I'll come across something I haven't seen in a couple of months, sometimes even years. I suddenly remember all the emotions and feelings I had when I got it for the first time, or how badly I wanted to have it. The truth is, it was never something I really needed, or even really had a use for. I might have just convinced myself that it would make my life so much better, used it once or twice, and then discarded of it because I got something new to play with.

We go into the cycles where we would do anything to get that one thing, whether it be a cellphone, a gadget, some shiny new shoes that we so badly want, but do we ever truly and honestly ask ourselves "is this really something I NEED?" If you do, and you can answer honestly, then I applaud you, because I know even I would bend the truth just to make it suit me better.

Truth is, I never did have a use for most of it. Some of it would have made me happy for a while, but after that would lose its appeal, and I'd end up moving to something new. Other things would perhaps improve my social standing with a certain crowd, or a specific individual, but even that wear off.

The easiest way to prove my point, and I did this myself a couple of times, is to make a list of things you'd need if you had to start from scratch. If you had to suffer your house burning down, and the insurance offers to rebuild it from the ashes. They also tell you that all they need from you is a list of things you'd like in your new house, and no matter the cost or item, they will make sure its there. I'm pretty certain that you've already thought of at least 15 things you'd like, and that some of them are things you didn't have before. That's OK,  we're all allowed to have dreams. I also don't expect you to live like you've just come from a cave.

Once that list is made, give it to a friend and ask them to highlight the things on that list you REALLY cannot live without. Items that are bare necessities in this world and everyday life. When you get the list back from them (and its still in one piece, with a few coffee stains.), tick off the things on the list you already have in your house. Now compare the items you've ticked off with the ones your friend highlighted. How many ticks are next to words that haven't been highlighted?

These are things in our lives we need to be thankful for. Not only are they luxuries that enrich our lives, but also things that so many others live without. Even the bare necessities that we have, that we take for granted, are absolute luxuries to many around the world.

BE MORE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE, TOMORROW MIGHT BE YOUR LAST!

Re(a)l-ationships

I often get the feeling that we have lost perspective on a lot of things in life, and as the title might hint, relationships is definitely one of those areas. Its like we don't know how or what to do when we get there, so we look to the media to give us a helping hand.

When I was about 13, we never had cellphones and Facebook, BBM and Whatsapp to our disposal. We had to get creative with how we communicated. I still remember sitting in a class and passing letters to the girls I like, hoping the teacher wouldn't intercept the precious cargo and ruin my life in front of the whole classroom. It was like going to war and getting caught behind the enemy line! You also had to be very careful who you entrusted the letter to, otherwise it might be opened by the opposition or never reach the intended recipient.

The point is, we took our time. We thought about how we were going to make this person of interest notice us, and then cultivate that into something more. We couldn't just go on-line and confess our feelings. It took more than one message or an emoticon to get to the point of it being something more than just someone you knew.

Nowadays its all about who you know and what you're carrying around in your pocket. For example: There is this girl that I met a while back who I though was a really good looking and intelligent person. She had a good sense of humour and I felt really comfortable talking to her. When the night came to an end, we exchanged numbers and I mentioned that I would like to see her again. It being the 21st century, all I had to do was send her an sms or invite her on Facebook and that was it! No need for flowers or chocolates, asking her best friend if she even talks about me, wondering if I'm actually going to ever see her again. It was as simple as that! Imagine for a second what she would have thought if I had taken her flowers or a teddy instead of a poke on Facebook.

Contrary to popular belief, and most people who know me, I have also been in a serious and long-term relationship, one that unfortunately came to quite an abrupt end. It being me, I often wonder what I would have changed if I got a chance to do it all over again. My answer...less sms and more talk! If I had actually spent more time talking to her and having a personal conversation instead of 160 character summaries of how my day went, it would have been completely different. I would have been able to see when she felt hurt by what I had said, or when she was just trying to be sarcastic instead of mean. There would have been colour to our conversations, not just little black letters on a screen. Emotions, feelings and even body language!

People often argue that its easier to talk about our problems when we don't have to face the person we're talking to. I would be lying if I said that I agree. What really gets to me is that we don't always bargain on the reply, and because of technology, its usually fairly instant. There is no period between getting the news and responding to it. No time delay to consider all the variables.
You might hope for a certain yes or no, but because you can't see the other person, you wouldn't know that it might not be the correct time to ask that specific question. So when the reply does come, and it wasn't the one you were hoping for, you start to think that you might be the issue, or that the interest you thought she showed was mistaken for her just being decent enough to talk to you.

In order for anyone to have a decent relationship, I honestly believe they need to rethink how they go about it all. But then again, maybe its just me...

DJ Doofis

I think we can all agree that we know someone who should rather not be allowed close to a DJ box or any device responsible for playing music at an event, public venue or even a Family Christmas Braai.

While at a friend's 26th  birthday braai recently, I happened to realise that I know someone like this...and I would have never guessed it to be that specific person! Now for the sake of anonymity, and just because it's a  friend,  I won't mention any names. Although I'm pretty sure about 50% of the people that read this will know the culprit quite well.

Its like these people got stuck in a really bad prison and tortured with good music, and now they just cannot manage to listen to it. And to always make matters worse, because life would just be to easy otherwise, they're normally either fairly far along the road to drunkenness or have arrived at that specific destination.

This usually doesn't bother me, not even when I have to listen to a really bad techno remix of "Final Countdown" for the fifth consecutive time. Its when they decide that the Captain (Captain Morgan for the slow readers) has made them chief in charge of the playlist for the rest of the night, and no more music from the past 10 years is allowed to feature. This is when my brain "flips a switch"...

I immediately go into kill mode and start looking for the idiot who discovered their parents' High school reunion CD's. I love ABBA, Queen, Paul Simon, Bryan Adams, Cher, Kylie Minogue and even a little Britney or Spice Girls just for kicks; But playing the same old music I associate puberty with, that just won't do! Sure you can play the Macarena and then after that "We are the Champions" go for gold and play "Summer of 69", but then you alternate and remember that there might be people there who don't share your love for classics like the ones mentioned.

And don't feel like a drop-out or failure if someone asks you to kindly step away from the computer, be proud that you had a chance to make it happen. That you got your 10 minutes of glory by making sure those songs get played and heard one more time. Don't act all childish and decide to throw a little fit on the floor, turn the amplifier up just to get everyone's attention or make sure you get people to agree with you that they just don't make good music any more. You're only going to embarrass yourself, and we don't want that.

So to conclude. To those people who love the classics and want to make sure they net stop being heard, here's an idea for you....

Its OK to have a theme party past the age of 13, we just call it a dress-up braai night and make sure there is enough alcohol so everyone laughs at everyone and not just at you or the music you love so dearly. Please just don't do it more than twice a year.....and try not to invite all your parents' friends.

Happy Hunting people....and pass the information along. Let's help those who got left behind ;)

Back down to earth...

This week saw my dad and myself being contracted out to a mining company to do the photos and video for a project. The government forces mining companies to enrich the communities they mine in by employing a certain number of people from that community, and also to comply to certain needs of the community. They have some fancy name for it, but bugger if I can remember what it is.

This project took us into the heart of some really poor communities and also made me see a side of life that you rarely hear about in papers or the news. Nothing much I could really say to try and make you understand, but as always I was an avid cellphone snapper. One of the places I can however mention, was a feeding scheme in Hlobane. It used to be a deep shaft coal mine in our municipal district some 20 years ago and supported a massive community of about 20 000 people. This mine eventually became economically stagnant and got abandoned like many others around our country....

Long story shortened, this feeding scheme provides for the kids of the community by giving them cooked meals. These kids vary in age from 5 to 16 and we were there when one of these meals was being served. The government provides R4-50 per kid(basically 2 slices of bread with jam and a glass of water per kid) for a meal...and the mine substitutes an additional R6-00 to make sure these kids actually do get a full belly.


My apologies if some of you have seen the pictures before, or even if they offend you, but this broke my heart to be around people that live every day without complaints. And it made me realise to be very thankful for what I have.

Not everything is sad and dreary though, we got to experience some rare sights too :)

Enjoy and remeber....be thankful for what you have, there are many less fortunate than you!

Leave of absence...

So I haven't exactly been a Model citizen where blogging is involved, but life an I had a bit of a tussle....and life won! I have however kept up with my social photography (cellphone snapping if you wish), and decided that I'd use that as a re-entry. That way I don't have to discuss all the moral dilemmas I've been jotting down for later blogging (Love, relationships, trust, friends, politics and such....), but rather allow the moments to speak fr themselves...

Enjoy and please do comment if you wish!